Happy Halloween! Answers in Genesis Wants to Scare Your Kids

Know your enemy.  It’s one of the most popular lessons from The Art of War, and something I subscribe to when it comes to being a secular activist.  That’s why I’m on the mailing list of Ken Ham’s organization, Answers in Genesis.  This week I received an email urging Ham’s stable of devoted creationists to purchase their Halloween preparation kit.  In it, AiG includes a DVD of a sermon all about the origins of Halloween and whether or not Christians should participate in it.  I’m guessing the DVD concludes that followers should participate, but only as an opportunity to evangelize to children, since the “Halloween Learn and Share Kit” also includes tracts (religious handouts) to be distributed to children in place of candy.  Because kids love a healthy dose of Jesus.  Yum.

But that’s not all.  Even worse than AiG encouraging the faithful to hand out tricks in place of treats is what’s on the tract itself.  There are two versions of basically the same message, both of which are printed on faux $1 million bills.  Let me paraphrase… “Hi kids, you’re going to hell. Love, Ken.”

00-1-097The first version is a bill with a dinosaur on it, because, as AiG says on its description, “Everyone loves dinosaurs.” Well, yeah.  But dinosaurs plus Jesus and threats of eternal damnation? Sign me up!  Here’s a direct quote from the “Dino-buck”:

If you have broken just one of these [Ten] Commandments, God sees you as guilty of sin. The penalty of sin is death and eternity in hell.

Well that’s just as fun as watching Jurassic Park.

00-1-098The other version of AiG’s tract is, of course, a bill with Noah’s Ark on it.  Here’s a quote from that one too:

Here’s a quick test: Have you ever lied, stolen, or used God’s name in vain? If so, you’ve broken God’s Law. The penalty for your crimes against God is death and eternal Hell because God is holy and just.

Yeah that sounds like justice to me. One lie and you pay for it with billions of years of unimaginable torture.  For fuck sake.

May the imaginary deity of your choice hold me back if I ever see someone put one of these in my kids’ Halloween bags.  Answers in Genesis is a disgrace to modern civilization.  To those who might be considering handing these out on October 31st, do yourself a favor. Close the door and turn off the lights if you see a little Miles from Tomorrowland approaching your house. Stay safe.

Kevin Davis

Kevin Davis is the head writer and editor for SecularVoices, co-founder of Young Skeptics, and author of Understanding an Atheist. He is known for local and national secular activism and has spoken at conferences and events such as Reason Rally 2016 and the Ark Encounter Protest and Rally.

View all posts by Kevin Davis →

28 thoughts on “Happy Halloween! Answers in Genesis Wants to Scare Your Kids

  1. Hey — Now THERE’S an idea for Ham’s Ark Park — Convert into a YUUUGE haunted “house”! (I mean the real type, not like the Chritofacist Hell Houses). Now THAT would be an AWESOME park. It would probably need some major renovation — I’m thinking animatronic dinos, not the cheapy plastic things that are there now.

  2. That’s the same fake dollar bills I’ve seen when I go do my laundry at the local laundromat every Monday. I saw them pinned onto the community bulletin board when I passed on by. I just simply took them off the board, rip them up, and threw ’em away. No one needs to know about Dumb Idiot Ham’s warped view of science and history.

      1. Except when it comes to bad Christian crap. When I got rid of my books and stuff, I didn’t recycle them or donate them to the library. They went into the trash. I didn’t want anyone else to be harmed by them.

          1. That’s true. For a while I wondered if those Jehovah’s Witness pamphlets were toxic or if it was just because the art made Jesus look like Chuck Norris.

    1. If there is a place that gives them out in bulk I’ll definitely collect them as it means I can cross toilet paper off my shopping list for a little while.

  3. Ken wants to put the ‘trick’ back in trick or treat…remember that the tricks were meted out for crappy treats, amirite?

  4. Atheists should gang together and make an event where kids can exchange these handouts for actual candy. We’ll see who wins over the younger generation.

      1. If it’s a cold night, a portable lantern that would help to warm the kids when they got cold and burn the AiG garbage at the same time.

  5. Gee, I am certainly glad the AiG people weren’t around when I was a little kid! They have just sucked all the fun out of Halloween.

  6. So now Kenny is beginning to use Ray Comfort’s material to promote his own bullshit. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised there since Hambo has started teaming up with Banana Man and is helping him make another on of his direct to Youtube 30 minute long waste of film ‘masterpieces’. And they’re hosting it at the Ark on the 22nd of October. I guess this means Banana Man will be appearing at Ken’s ‘Hell Ark’, probably even dressed up as a banana when doing his proselyting (which I would pay money to see).
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwhbmg-M8mI

    1. ‘The Atheist Delusion’. Really. Holy shit.

      Not content with crappy made-in-Taiwan Christian versions of stuff like Rock Band and Saw (thanks, Mel Gibson!), now they’re actually cribbing titles from atheist books. Not only that, but in a way that hints they’re getting expert consultants from the Institute of Rubber/Glue Dynamics to help them with their marketing.

  7. You could always keep track of the ones who put this stuff in the kids candy bags and at Christmas, send them a beautifully wrapped box of doo doo as a gift.

  8. Somewhere along the way, God apparently decided that His Bible isn’t reaching Lost children as effectively as He’d like, so he had Ken Ham print up Dino Bills. Because Dino Bills are a totally better plan than just appearing to each child individually to personally explain everything.

  9. I think you all are missing the big progressive step here by AIG–putting aside the fact that their Halloween dino-dollars are creepier than the plastic bones sticking out of my neighbors yard. We really ought to be giving kudos to the fact that on the same piece of paper AIG has a picture of a dinosaur and the number 1,000,000. Shoot, until now I wasn’t sure that AIG was even aware that numbers could exceed 10,000. Sure, the number refers to “$” and not years, and even if it were years they would still be tens of millions of years off from the evolutionary history of dinosaurs, but hey, baby steps….

    Now if we can only convince Evangelicals that they’ve inextricably linked themselves to a mysogynistic, narcissistic, bigoted demagogue of a presidential candidate (I’m sure there are some Christlike qualities in there somewhere)….

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