New Feature: This Week in God’s Plan

I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while, and after the craziness that ensued around the world early this week,  there’s no better time than now to introduce SecularVoices’ new weekly feature — This Week in God’s Plan.

It probably needs no explanation, but I’ll go ahead and briefly give some context.  This Week in God’s Plan (#TWIGP), will highlight (or lowlight) some of the events that happened over the past week that no self-respecting benevolent deity could ever insert into its plan for the world or its inhabitants.  One of my pet peeves of the religious is how they explain so many things — successes and tragedies — as part of God’s plan.  Got cancer? God’s plan. Had a miscarriage? God’s plan.  Baby born prematurely? God’s plan.  I call bullshit.

So here we go.  Here’s This Week in God’s Plan for the week of December 23, 2016:

  • On Saturday, a tree fell on a wedding party in Whittier, CA as they were posing for photos on an otherwise beautiful day.  In the course of the freak accident that God decided not to prevent, several people were trapped under the tree’s branches, while a 4-year-old girl suffered critical head trauma and the 61-year-old mother of the bride was killed.
  • Also on Saturday, a 3-year-old boy was shot to death in a road rage incident in Little Rock, AR.  According to the boy’s grandmother, they were driving to the mall to go Christmas shopping when a car pulled up behind them at a stop sign. After the driver honked his horn, the grandmother honked hers back, and the driver then exited his vehicle just as God had planned, and fired a shot into the grandmother’s car.  She drove off and realized when they got to the mall that her grandson had been hit.  He died shortly after.
  • God was busy collecting souls Saturday, for sure.  In St. Charles, IA, a woman dressed as Mrs. Claus was traveling in a car with her husband, who was dressed as Santa, when he lost control of the vehicle on an icy road and crashed, killing her.  They had just left an appearance at a local bank where they visited with local children.  That’s cold, even by God’s standards.
  • On Tuesday, a 62-year-old woman died in a freak accident when the scarf she was wearing got tangled in the rear wheel of the beach buggy she was riding in.  Despite her family claiming she was a “wonderful” woman, God decided to strangle her instead of killing her peacefully in her sleep.
  • Also on Tuesday, a 13-year-old boy shot and killed his 12-year-old brother in Knoxville, TN.  Unfortunately, divine intervention did not jam the gun and save the victim.  Maybe this event will change some hearts and minds in the South, where they’ve been known to cling to their God and guns.  Neither did them any favors this time.
  • And in an apparent protest against pyrotechnics, or maybe just for his own amusement, God set off a shit-ton of fireworks at a crowded market in Mexico on Tuesday, killing at least 29 people, including children.  The market was full of people shopping for fireworks to display in celebration of Christmas and New Year holidays.
  • On Wednesday night, a gas station attendant in Redding, CA was burned to death by an unknown suspect who walked into the gas station wearing rain gear, sprayed the attendant with a flammable liquid, set him on fire, and walked out.  He then fled on a bicycle.  When asked to comment on why he didn’t do anything to save the attendant or stop the assailant, God said, ”     .”  Mysterious ways.

This is just a sample of God’s plan for his precious children this week.  Tune in next week for more updates and examples of God’s love and protection.

Hate mail can be sent to contact@secularvoices.org.  Thanks for stopping by!

 


Kevin Davis

Kevin Davis is the head writer and editor for SecularVoices, co-founder of Young Skeptics, and author of Understanding an Atheist. He is known for local and national secular activism and has spoken at conferences and events such as Reason Rally 2016 and the Ark Encounter Protest and Rally.

View all posts by Kevin Davis →

33 thoughts on “New Feature: This Week in God’s Plan

  1. You need to add side-notes on whose sinful actions God is punishing with each event. We can’t be sure it’s the actual victims, since God’s aim is known to be kinda iffy.

      1. Since this deity is supposedly all powerful, you’d think it would smite this other entity messing with the deity’s plans because love

    1. From ignorance arises religion. Specifically the ignorance that fairy tales aint fact. (see, I can play this game too) BTW, your bridge needs a new coat of paint. Trolls R Us is having a holiday sale.

      1. Hello?
        Did you say ‘Bridge?’

        Please call Scientology right away…they sell and maintain bridges!

    2. From fear arises religion: fear of others, fear of the unknown, fear of the known that does not coincide with your particular wishes or prejudices

      1. “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.
        For fear has to do with punishment, and he who fears is not perfected in
        love.”

        1. Interesting response from someone who, based on your earlier comment, probably respects what is written in the bible.
          “Let all the earth fear the Lord” – Psalms 33:8. (And repeated in various forms throughout the rest of the bible.)
          Fear is a tool used by the powerful to keep the rest under control. Religion is a perfect example of the effective use of this tool.

          Also, atheism has nothing to do with anger, and does not derive from it. Atheism derives from critical thinking, knowledge and rejection of indoctrination/brainwashing.

          1. “Also, atheism has nothing to do with anger, and does not derive from it. Atheism derives from critical thinking, knowledge and rejection of
            indoctrination/brainwashing.”

            We’ll have to agree to disagree.

          2. This from a guy who tells total strangers they’re angry.
            Ironic…you guys just keep the floodgates open, annoying magnets everywhere.

          3. I’m pretty sure this is the guy who’s more catholic than the chief nipple headed old man in a funny dress

          4. Are you really arrogant enough to tell total strangers how they’re feeling?

            I’m not angry at all. I think your whole superstitious baloney is stupid is all.

          1. “Then why are you instructed to FEAR the Lord?”

            Now THAT might be considered a *true* paradox, that is,
            two seemingly contradictory things both being true.
            [Elsewhere on the “Nonreligious Channel” is a video on “The Paradox of Prayer”, which as I explain there, is *not* a paradox, is a *false* paradox.]

            This may help:
            “The fear of the LORD is the *BEGINNING OF* wisdom”
            (cf. Psalm 111:10).

  2. God’s plan for me went into overdrive this year — In the first quarter I lost my husband, my father, 4 other family and friends, found out that me and my husband owed $30,000 in back taxes (my husband said he was “working” on it), and found out I owed $5,000 in taxes for 2015. Finally to round out this year, Drumpf was “elected.” Fuck God and “his” plans.

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