Vatican’s Top Exorcist Dies, Hopes He’s Not Reunited with 160,000 Demons He Sent to Hell

Father Gabriele Amorth, a Catholic priest who claimed he sent 160,000 demons back to the hell they came from, died in Rome at the age of 91.

Amorth, an advocate of allowing all priests to perform exorcisms without Vatican approval, seemed to be obsessed with the presence of the devil and his demons.  He claimed that Hitler and Stalin were possessed by Satan himself, and that yoga and Harry Potter books were conduits of evil.  Now that Amorth is gone, I can only imagine the earth will soon be overrun by demons, much like when the containment unit got shut down at Ghostbusters headquarters.

But aside from all the nonsense that exorcisms represent, perhaps the most callous of claims made by Amorth was that the rampant sex abuse scandals that plague the Catholic Church were a result, not of culpable individuals within the Church, but of a demonic presence.  He claimed, “The Devil resides in the Vatican and you can see the consequence,” referring to a war between the Antichrist and the Vatican, which apparently materialized through sex acts performed on children. What a strange method of attack… to cause otherwise holy men to commit horrible acts against the most vulnerable, all to make priests look bad.  Yeah, that makes sense.

But you know, the Antichrist works in mysterious ways.

Rest in peace, Gabriele, and I hope you take your prehistoric ideology with you.

 


Kevin Davis

Kevin Davis is the head writer and editor for SecularVoices, co-founder of Young Skeptics, and author of Understanding an Atheist. He is known for local and national secular activism and has spoken at conferences and events such as Reason Rally 2016 and the Ark Encounter Protest and Rally.

View all posts by Kevin Davis →

13 thoughts on “Vatican’s Top Exorcist Dies, Hopes He’s Not Reunited with 160,000 Demons He Sent to Hell

  1. Of course the Devil resides in the Vatican. But you can’t blame Him for your bad decisions. He doesn’t “make” anyone do anything, that’s solely the responsibility of the person making the choices.

    No, this clown didn’t go to Heaven. And guess who’s waiting for him in Hell, once he’s finished the intake paperwork…they are Legion!

  2. Wait, 160,000 demons over 91 years?

    That’s like, 4.8 demons a day if he started at birth. Assuming he didn’t get his exorcist licence until he was … oh, 25? He’d have to do about 6.8 demons a day.

    Did he get weekends off? Were there, like, splurges of demons – exorcising 100 at a time, so then he could take a week off?

    Was he on some giant reputation grind with the Vatican? “Just 6,842 demons to kill, and then I’ll reach exalted!”

    1. If he started at birth, maybe most of his confirmed exorcisms were during his terrible-twos. Demons don’t have the patience for little kids.

  3. I mean, purely from a “sense behind their fantasy” standpoint, as far as shrinking the power and authority of the Catholic Church, the whole child sex abuse scandal has been pretty effective. Therefore, if you were to see it as an attack, it’s been a fairly effective one.

  4. First Ed Warren, now Padre Amorth – no wonder the world is filled with demons.

    Any clue on how long before he becomes a saint?

  5. So…the Antichrist was fighting AGAINST the Vatican as the latter tried to minimize or cover up the Church’s sex crimes? How effective was he?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *